On a more than drizzly evening, my sister and I sporadically chose to venture out into the University District of Seattle. One could say that sporadic tendencies often lead to.. Life changing experiences, more or less.

The car was straggling along the streets, as all too hip college students mopped the flooding pavement with their flesh hugging trousers, flouncing feathery scarves, and smoldering cigarettes. Through the front window of the car, I saw an impressionist painting with globules of red, yellow and green: traffic lights; the downfall impaired our view of the street. On top of that, my head was being frantically jerked with every push and pull of my sister’s breaks. Those pesky colored globules were getting on my nerves! With hope, I rolled down the window to catch a breath of fresh air like a dog on a balmy summer day. (Un)luckily for me, it was less balmy but more unmanageably rainy. Oh Seattle, how you humor me…

My head was not so gruntled and oh so very moist. Harrumph! I thought to myself, perhaps Vincent van Gogh would have been more humored by my situation, perhaps artistic depression can make this situation beautifully optimistic. But, perhaps I should just enjoy the ever changing impressionist painting outside the car window. Once again, the visions of red, yellow and green spited my antsy mood.  I wondered if there was anything new and enticing.

At a distance I saw a rectangular brick of light. What? What is that massive blob of light doing here? As we drove by this peculiar structure, I was transported from impressionism to something fantastically modern and all together, avante garde. Good lard! I proclaimed to my sister, demanding that she find a nearby parking space to the foreign structure entitled “American Apparel”, and so we did. And, the next few minutes felt like the mad dash to tackle the last Tickle Me Elmo at Wal-Mart on Black Friday, only not as red and furry (or mangy), and no one was trampled (at least I didn’t notice).. Closer and closer. I felt like a fly drawn to that intoxicatingly bright light. Closer and closer. So close I almost ran into the door!

The door! Push or pull? I frantically jerked the glass panel, pushing and pulling it, demanding for my curiosity to be cured. Aha! Pull! As I trotted onward, a flabbergasted employee clad in a skin tight latex dress and metallic gold leggings greeted me. Space ship status, much. However, I respected that woman’s bravado to be vacuum sealed in that rubber casing like a mass produced hot dog sitting on a grocery store outlet shelf for weeks, months, or even years..

Meek- not her, but myself. I looked down to notice that my clothes had gotten much darker. Much, much darker from the immense amount of water I had absorbed from that frantic frenzy.  If only I had her water repellent dress just a little bit earlier! Oh well. My distressed nature was soon to be distracted from, but not eased, as my eyes were assaulted with visions of neon gas and metallic colored garbs! You name it, my eyes were being assaulted with it!

Pause. When I said “assaulted”, I meant that my eyes were being assaulted in a good way. Onward!

The eye assault didn’t stop there; casting over space age vision was a bright white light. Hello, mother ship! As I steered myself across the white linoleum floors (all while trying not to slip on my obnoxiously squeaky sneakers, might I add) I felt like I was being force-fed 80’s pop cultural references, only they had been deconstructed, reconstructed, and regurgitated into a somewhat bearable form. Dare I say it? I liked it! I liked loved it!! Often, when people are in love they tend to be blind (or at least that’s how the saying goes). However, I was no victim of love; my eyes were being pried open and poked with deliciously tacky clothing. Bewildered by the bold, synthesized garbs, I grabbed the nearest cotton T-shirt I could find and…..to be continued….

Now, I can’t quite say I bought a skin tight latex dress (so I don’t give me a trophy of awesomeness just yet), but I can sure guarantee to you that next time you see a bright light, don’t be afraid to lured in by it.