Saturday, February 6, 2010
It's been a rough week month. It's going to be another rough several weeks, even months, of reform and self discovery for me. In search for progress I've started journaling nightly, reflecting on outside forces and wonderful bottled up teenage angst. It feels so silly to be writing to yourself, but I've just finished my first entry and WHEW, what a great release! The fantastic thing is that I'm currently exploring self reliance in my romanticism unit for American Studies, which is helping me direct my focus towards my own spiritual understanding.
Sigh.
I can't enjoy my meals. I can't fall asleep. I don't want to do History Day. I want to go out to laugh and live, yet I want to stay inside and mope under my blankies + comforters. Sigh.
Part of me wishes to linger in the past and reminisce about all the smiles I've had over the past thirteen months, but a part of me wishes just to carry on with life knowing that maybe that this is for the best. It's difficult letting go of something that you still love. I feel like I'm giving up, and I'm NOT a giver upper, which makes this even more flustering for me. But hey, what can you do but just move on and hope for the best. Sigh.
Sigh.
I can't enjoy my meals. I can't fall asleep. I don't want to do History Day. I want to go out to laugh and live, yet I want to stay inside and mope under my blankies + comforters. Sigh.
Part of me wishes to linger in the past and reminisce about all the smiles I've had over the past thirteen months, but a part of me wishes just to carry on with life knowing that maybe that this is for the best. It's difficult letting go of something that you still love. I feel like I'm giving up, and I'm NOT a giver upper, which makes this even more flustering for me. But hey, what can you do but just move on and hope for the best. Sigh.
Wish me luck, you guys.
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